Conversations with Brit & Grit

It occurred to me that, what with President and Leader For Life Obama presiding over more and more Government takeovers of various industries, that soon even the food industry will be absorbed, and that got me to thinking about what dinning out in the future will be like.  My first thought was something like this…

But then it hit hit me that such an operation was too efficient to be a Government agency, so anything even close to the Taco Bell takeover in “Demolition Man” couldn’t be our future.  Really, eating at Café Du Bureaucrat has to be more akin to a trip to the Post Office or the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Thus, upon arrival you’ll be greeted by no one, but will be allowed to take a menu…

 from a dispenser, which you can fill out while waiting in line…

to get to the order window…

… where, assuming that you have properly filled out your “menu” in triplicate and with a separate set of papers for each item you wish to obtain from the Government kitchen, and one for each condiment you desire, you may submit your order to the friendly Government employee hiding behind bullet proof glass and who works at least 15 minutes out of each hour.

Once that’s done and he/she/it runs the paperwork through the process of having a clerk come in and manually transcribe it into the computer system, for the sake of efficiency and to comply with union rules, you’ll quickly, 15 - 20 minutes tops, be issued a service ticket and be directed to a waiting room which will look a lot like the ones in hospital emergency rooms around the country, except that there won’t be any magazines or TV sets.  Soon thereafter, two hours tops except on busy days when it can take so long that you have to come back in the morning, you’ll be called to another identical window, to wait in another line, where you will eventually be issued a reservation ticket for your table and requested meal.  Generally speaking, this will be for a date six months or so in the future, and may be in a branch of Café Du Bureaucrat that is located in a different city in a random state anywhere in the country.

Assuming that you don’t starve to death before it’s your turn to dine, upon arriving at your assigned restaurant and presenting your reservation ticket, and drivers license, Social Security card, birth certificate, and your medical records from your most recent exam, you’ll be allowed to enter the restaurant.  At this point your height, weight, cloistral level, and blood pressure will be measured and the results will be compared to standard Government charts and your requested meal to ensure it’s a healthy choice.  If not, you’ll be kicked out.

If you’ve chosen wisely, you’ll be shown to a luxury dining table…

… where, within an hour or two, your meal will be served by smiling and cheerful Government employees.  Of course, for the sake of efficiency and cost savings, all food will be converted into a standard shape to facilitate handling and storage…

Don’t worry, each individual item will have environmentally friendly and FDA approved dyes added so you’ll know what you’re enjoying.

And after you linger over your excellent meal for the officially approved time of 10 minutes after your last chewing motion, as monitored by computer controlled and evaluated cameras, you’ll be escorted off the premises by friendly Government personnel who are trained in crowd control and equipped with pepper spray and TASERS.

Tips, by the way, are not allowed.  That will come out of your next tax contribution as an extra 3%.

Enjoy,
the Grit

I have been told that today is Canada Day.  Having lived in the Great White North, I probably take this too seriously, so I hunted up some videos to lighten the mood, eh.

The following, if I understand things correctly, is their national anthem…

Canadians have a huge inferiority complex where America is concerned, but if you get them talking about us they usually buy the beer.  The next two are pretty long, but well worth watching.

And obviously, it’s obligatory to finish with their most famous wise men…

Canada, those of us who can find you on a map salute you!

the Grit

My friend Barb has found a clip of Glen Beck mocking President and Leader For Life Obama’s cap and trade scheme: http://www.xerraireart.com/blog/2009/06/30/becks-take-on-cap-and-trade/, which is really a must see!

the Grit

There must be something wrong with my television, because I just heard President and Leader For Life Obama say - yes, He’s on TV again - that large programs run by bureaucrat in Washington aren’t good, or words to that effect.  I am confused.  Isn’t this the same man who was happy to announce that the Government, through the Department of Energy, is setting new standards for energy efficiency in lamps?  That’s right, some bureaucrat in Washington is soon going to be telling you what kind of light bulb you can buy.  And isn’t He also pushing for a Government agency to tell our doctors what types of health care they can give?  Something is seriously wrong here.  Really, we have to consider the possibility that space aliens have replaced The Chosen One with an android, and the Secret Service should immediately have Him undergo a complete medical checkup!

Oh, and my TV also mentioned that: The Minnesota Supreme Court has ordered that Democrat Al Franken be certified as the winner of the state’s long-running Senate race.  I can’t believe this.  It’s too horrible to be true, and must be taken as a sign of the end of the world.  Well, if Franken gets the seat it’ll at least be the end of our country, as the liberals will then have a filibuster proof majority, and will be completely free and unchecked in their efforts to make us all slaves of the State.  On the up side, it is truly hilarious that the election of a comedian to the United States Congress will do what the armed forces of the Germans, the Japanese, and the USSR couldn’t accomplish.  It also makes it much easier to make the point that our Government is a joke.

Of course, I have to mention that it’s not just my TV that is acting strangely.  The Internet is presenting me with unbelievable information as well.  This, for instance…

Sen. Inhofe Calls for Inquiry Into ‘Suppressed’ Climate Change Report

The 98-page report, co-authored by EPA analyst Alan Carlin, pushed back on the prospect of regulating gases like carbon dioxide as a way to reduce global warming. Carlin’s report argued that the information the EPA was using was out of date, and that even as atmospheric carbon dioxide levels have increased, global temperatures have declined.

Really?!  A Government Agency acting from political motives?  That can’t be true!  If the faceless bureaucrats the liberals are rapidly putting in charge of every aspect of our lives can’t be trusted to be completely unprejudiced and honest, then that means, well, that means we’re fucked. 

Excuse me now while I go slap some Obama/Biden stickers on my truck and paint our house green.

the Grit

You have to know by now that Bernie Madoff bilked thousands of people out of their money in the second largest Ponsi scheme in history. Such a con game is, by the way, where someone sets up an investment company, uses money from new investors to pay high returns to previous investors, and skims a bit off the top for themselves. Such a plan works quite well as long as there are always new investors, and there were apparently plenty of them in the private sector as Bernie kept his con going for at least 18 years.

He did, eventually, get caught, tried and today…

NO MERCY: BERNIE GETS THE MAX

… which was 150 years in jail.  Of course, he’s an old man now and probably won’t live long enough to complete his sentence, but with advances in medicine who knows.  Madoff may be living off the taxpayers for quite a while. 

There has been much public outrage about how many people fell for this scam and lost all of their savings.  I, on the other hand, am a bit taken aback by this sentiment.  Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry for those stolen from, but I find it difficult to work up a lot of sympathy for anyone who, out of greed to get those high returns on their investment, ignored the ancient warning not to put all of one’s eggs in one basket.  Investment, after all, is nothing more than a form of gambling, with the odds of loosing rising right along with the reward, so if you bet everything you own on red and it comes up black, too bad.  While it was a rigged game in this case, the possibility of such is just another reason to keep the basket of broken eggs image in mind.

Still, Bernie does deserve to suffer, as an example to others not to go out of their way to rip people off if for no other reason, which is what gave me an idea for a new business, the export of our criminals.  Really, how much suffering is Madoff, or any other truly bad criminal, going to experience during their stay in our prison system?  Really, our liberal court system has given in to the ACLU so much that prisoners have to be provided for to such an extent that most of them have higher standards of living that many non-criminal citizens.  So, with that in mind, I’m thinking that we should export our criminals to places like China or Mexico.  Last I looked it up, we pay something like $30,000 per year to keep each individual incarcerated.  Given the lower standards required by law elsewhere, I’m thinking we could farm our criminals out for considerably less than our cost, say $15,000 per year, to countries that would only spend $5,000 per year to keep them behind bars, so it’s a good deal all around.  Oh, and it would provide the added benefit of making a prison sentence something that EVERYONE would really, really want to avoid.

And speaking of the biggest Ponsi scheme in history, mention of which I worked in earlier, this quote from the linked news item should give you a hint…

“He stole from the rich. He stole from the poor. He stole from the in between. He had no values,” said Tom Fitzmaurice. “He cheated his victims out of their money so he and his wife Ruth could live a life of luxury beyond belief.”

Need another clue?  Change the last part to, “so government could gain power beyond belief.”

The answer is, as you surely figured out, the Social Security system.  It has run for decades by paying out benefits due from the contributions of a new wave of investors, and the excess money has been skimmed off the top and replaced with unsecured IOUs signed by Uncle Sam instead of Bernie.  So you can see it’s exactly the same scam, except the con artists behind it have the legal right to put a gun to your head to make you participate, instead of having to fool you into playing.

Let’s see, at $15,000 per head,paying China to take an extra 536 prisoners would be $8,040,000 per year, which is tremendously less than what we pay them to do their elected duties, and is even less than President and Leader For Life Obama is racking up in unnecessary travel expenses, so I’m thinking cleaning house would make good business sense.  Plus watching them get prodded onto the transport ship would be so much fun.  Oh, the party I would throw!

the Grit

What the heck, let’s have some fun with politics and old advertising slogans.  Feel free to play along.

(Buick - it’s not your father’s car anymore.)

America - it’s not your father’s country anymore.

(Buick Park Avenue. The Power Of Understatement.)

Democrat Congress. The Power Of stupidity.

(Following your own rules. Audi A6.)

Following their own rules.  Congress.

(Volkswagen Polo. Built to protect.)

Democrats.  Built to tax.

(Range Rover. It’s how the smooth take the rough.)

Cap & Trade. It’s how the liberals take your money.

(Toyota Corolla. A car to be proud of.)

Cap & Trade. A tax to be proud of.

(KamaSutra. For the pleasure of sensual living.)

Socialism.  For the pleasure of average living.

(Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection you trust.)

Liberals.  Stuff you want.  Promises you trust - fool.

(Inoxcrom. The writing Obsession!)

Liberals.  The controlling Obsession!

(Bic. Writes first time, every time.)

Obama. Lies first time, every time.

(Day Runner. Organizing your life.)

President Obama. Organizing your life.

(Baldwin Cooke. Products that say “Thank You” 365 days a year.)

The Liberal Congress. Laws that say “Fuck You” 365 days a year.

(5 Hour Energy. Drink it in seconds. Feel it in minutes. Lasts for hours.)

Cap & Trade Bill. Write it in seconds. Pass it in minutes. Lasts for ever.

(Virginia Slims. You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby)

Nancey Pelosi.  You’ve come a long way, bitch.

(Porter-Cable. Redefining Performance)

President Obama. Redefining America.

(Huskey. The Toughest Name in Tools.)

Rep. Murtha. The Toughest Name in Tools.

(Makita. It’s All The Power You Need.)

60 votes. It’s All The Power You Need.

(Vogue - for the overwhelming minority.)

Common Sense - for the overwhelming minority.

(The Economist.  More than just economics.)

Obama’s Budget.  More than just economics.

(AUTO magazine.  For those who get turned on by cars.)

Democrat Party.  For those who get turned on by laws.

(Kawasaki. Let the good times roll.)

Environmentalists. Let the good times end.

(BMW. Sheer Riding Pleasure)

EPA. Sheer Regulating Pleasure.

(Ex Officio. Clothes for a big planet.)

United Nations.  Rulers for a big planet.

the Grit
 

Well, that’s what they’re screaming in Iran, although the news of Michael Jackson croaking has pushed that bit of important news off the TV.  And, while you probably haven’t been informed of it, the House of Representatives is currently having legislation that, if also passed by the Senate, will make everything you do or buy more expensive, and drive even more of our industry and jobs off shore, in the name of saving the planet from the same gas we exhale with every breath.  Well, that’s only the claim on the face of it.  Really, it’s a grand liberal power grab to take almost absolute control of every aspect of our lives.  But, the news is focused on the passing of Michael Jackson.  We’ve also got that push by the liberals to drive us into socialized medicine, which will cause millions of us to die painful deaths due to rationing of health care, but the death of a, to my taste, minor performer is all that’s in the news.

Well crap!  It also turns out that my best friend for over 30 years also died yesterday.  Something in his brain burst.  And he died.  But the national news hasn’t mentioned his death.  Can’t blame them really.  All he did was work hard at a productive job all his life, and raise two good children, and take care of his wife.  Really, it’s not like he did anything important, like singing and dancing.  You know, the things on which our country was built, the things that put food on our tables, and keep us healthy and safe.  Well, at least he won’t be defiling out planet by the act of breathing anymore.

On the other hand, if given the choice by some higher power, I would gladly slaughter ever single public figure in this country, and others, by hand with a knife - politician, actor, musician, whatever - and stack their bodies up like cord wood if it would bring my friend back.   

You’ll have to excuse me now as it seems that I have some serious thinking and drinking to do.

the Grit

I was just watching President and Leader For Life Obama talk up His anti-Global Warming and death to American prosperity bill that Pelosi is rushing through the House of Representatives in an effort to keep anyone from reading it before they have to vote on it, when it occurred to me that liberals hate us.  That us, by the way, is everyone who isn’t part of the liberal elite.  They even hate their own servants, and only tolerate their continued existence because of the need for someone to perform the menial chores that are terribly beneath really important people.  You know, like movie stars and politicians and community organizers.  Oh, and another bit of information that you should be aware of - every individual liberal considers himself/herself to be one of the elite. 

By now you absolutely must be asking how I could say this, when they all claim to only want to help us and protect us?  Ignore their claims because they lie.  Constantly and with great talent.  Which is easy for them because they don’t think of us as human, so it’s like telling a fib to your dog.  Rather than listening to them, let’s examine their actions, and that will be easy these days.

Fannie, Freddie asked to relax condo loan rules: report

Two U.S. Democratic lawmakers want Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to relax recently tightened standards for mortgages on new condominiums, saying they could threaten the viability of some developments and slow the housing-market recovery, the Wall Street Journal said.

Even better is that, and I couldn’t make up stuff this good, Representatives Barney Frank, the chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, is behind it.  Yes, the man who is most directly responsible for our current financial troubles, having started the housing crisis by insisting that standards for home loans be relaxed by, you guessed it, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, is not satisfied with the destruction he has wrought on our country, and wants to take a second shot at bringing us to total collapse.  But he just wants to help sell condominiums?  No.  He hates us and wants the recession to continue, and worsen, so all the unemployed and desperate will become dependent on Government handouts and can be treated like serfs. 

If you still don’t believe me: Obama not closing door on possible health care tax

With lawmakers trying to crunch the numbers on a $1 trillion health care overhaul, President Barack Obama is leaving the door open to a new tax on employer-provided health care benefits.

Which is very clever, and very evil.  Obviously, taxing health care benefits at any reasonable won’t raise anywhere near enough money to pay for the dead beats among us, but it will help force everyone into the Government plan, where millions of us can suffer and die because of the rationing of services that will inevitably take place.  Keep in mind that those who suffer most under single payer plans are the elderly, who don’t get the best care because it’s not cost effective, and the liberals would just love to kill as many of that demographic as possible.  Really, seriously reducing the number of people over the age of 65 is the only way to keep Social Security, the liberal wet dream, solvent and funneling tons of money into other liberal projects.  Besides, is SS goes belly up, it might wake enough of us up and cause a revolution.

And if you need even more proof: The Cap and Tax Fiction

The hit to GDP is the real threat in this bill. The whole point of cap and trade is to hike the price of electricity and gas so that Americans will use less. These higher prices will show up not just in electricity bills or at the gas station but in every manufactured good, from food to cars. Consumers will cut back on spending, which in turn will cut back on production, which results in fewer jobs created or higher unemployment. Some companies will instead move their operations overseas, with the same result.

When the Heritage Foundation did its analysis of Waxman-Markey, it broadly compared the economy with and without the carbon tax. Under this more comprehensive scenario, it found Waxman-Markey would cost the economy $161 billion in 2020, which is $1,870 for a family of four. As the bill’s restrictions kick in, that number rises to $6,800 for a family of four by 2035.

See, they hate us!  They don’t want us to have easy, comfortable lives.  They want us to sweat in the summer because we can’t afford to run the air conditioner, and shiver in the winter because we can’t afford to turn on the heat.  They want us to walk everywhere.  They don’t want us to eat good food and, if they didn’t love forests so much, they’d insist that we forage for our meals in the woods.  They don’t even want us to have toilet paper!  Truth be told, if they didn’t need the vote they wouldn’t even want us to exist!  Well, except for a few of us to keep their yards, clean their toilets, and pilot their luxury jets. 

And you know what, I hate them back.

the Grit